Things I Learned Today

1) Grown men should never skip. If you're on a reality show and you need to express happiness ask the producers if you could just smile or naw on a bone.

2) Indian food smells good at a restaurant. No body likes when I smell like indian food.


3) Burrows are superior to Donkeys as pack animals because of their ability to use water more slowly and efficiently.


4) Nodding while someone else is talking is the secret to being well liked.

5) Transferring to soy milk is easiest if I start with chocolate soy milk.

6) Witnessing the TV show Men In Trees jump the shark is like watching Jumping The Shark jump the shark.

7) Head boards can be expensive. Scoot your bed up to the wall. It's free.

8) Just because I'm wearing my "Good" tennis shoes doesn't mean I'm dressed up.


9) Collin Ferrel and Oscar the Grouch have the same eyebrows but Oscar has a better personality.

10) Conservatives insist canadian health care is horrible but Canadians have a higher life expectancy than Americans.

11) In related news, if you're from Angola, live it up. Life is short.