Penelope's Weight Throughout History

When I say I put on weight recently, I mean in this life-time I’m fatter than I want to be. I mean I think when I was a apothecary in the 16th century in England in a previous life I was thin… and I miss it.

I mean remember how petite I was at birth? That was sweet.

You may be imagining a space-time continuum where I just got so busy with my great job or relationship that I couldn’t go to the gym. No. Recently is just a relative concept. You know when the Big Bang happened? I consider that just a little bit ago. So naturally when I first grew feet and tippy toed on them out of the sea while exhibiting a lithe, lean swimmers body of a former fish wasn’t so long ago. When I was a totally fit monkey person doing chin ups for fun instead of for the Presidential Fitness Test seems like yesterday. When I harpooned my first Snuffaluffagus and dragged it back to my cave I was as trim as Camilla Belle in 10,000 BC. Good times!

imdb.com

Would I go back? No. Because now there are Spanx and protein shakes. Also, my hygiene is better in this life time and I will most likely not get eaten by a giant tiger.

Hunting Tiger, Mila Zinkova, 2006

Life is good, Just a little curvier.

XXXOOO,
Penelope